In advance of the Purim holiday, when we celebrate the rescue of the Jewish people from genocide in the ancient Persian Empire, I wanted to share some thoughts about the transformative power of a clearly defined life purpose. As described in the Kosher Giving book, purpose is one of the three pillars of Kosher Giving. But how can we discover our life purpose?
In a piercing and soul searching conversation between Mordecai and his niece, Queen Esther, we’re provided with a blueprint for how to define our life purpose and act upon it to the benefit of those around us. By reading a select set of verses from the Book of Esther with a sensitive heart and an intent mind, we can learn from Esther’s timeless lessons.
The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Esther Challenge: Discover Your Purpose and Tell Your Story.
Personal and Purposeful Character Development
And Mordecai ordered to reply to Esther, “Do not imagine to yourself that you will escape in the king’s house from among all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and rescue will arise for the Jews from elsewhere, and you and your father’s household will perish; and who knows whether for a time such as this you have reached the kingdom?”
(Book of Esther, 4:13-14)
Now that Mordecai has communicated the gravity of the danger to the Jewish people, he moves to personalize Esther’s unique opportunity.
Esther has her own fears of being sentenced to death by the king for approaching him unannounced. She needs the tools to be able to overcome fears. And the only thing that will outweigh her very real fear of an untimely death is her commitment to a greater purpose.
This is Mordecai’s second and final opportunity to awaken Esther to meaningful and intentional action. Instead of insisting or pleading, he encourages Esther to push past her legitimate concerns by asking bigger questions.
Questions are the next level of conversation. They soften our tendency to think that what we see is what we get. Questions invite us to move beyond stagnation and imagine what might be possible. If you want to challenge someone you care for to tap into their personal purpose, questions are a tried and true method of confrontation.
First, Mordecai asks “who?”. He challenges Esther to courageously and honestly determine who she is.
Second, Mordecai asks Esther “how?”. How can she give in such a way that allows her to choose between personal survival and a purposeful legacy?
And third, Mordecai asks “when?”. Are her talents and treasures aligned with the timing, and if so, will she choose to act at “such a time as this”?
The three questions of “who”, “how” and “when” are the core of The Esther Challenge. When we answer these questions we come to appreciate our life purpose, and we begin to tell our story.
Question 1 : Who are you?
And Mordecai ordered to reply to Esther, “Do not imagine to yourself that you will escape in the king’s house from among all the Jews. (Book of Esther, 4:13)
The Need to Choose
Mordecai suggests that there are two ways for Esther to see herself. She can either choose her personal story or the story of her people. Both stories are compelling, but they are not equal.
Esther’s experience of rags to riches is, itself, a powerful story, the likes of which romances and fairy tales have been told across different cultures for generations. She’s an orphan girl from an exiled nation who is chosen from among countless other women to become the queen of an empire. That story is a story worth telling. But there’s a better story that Esther can tell.
The second story is not about where she’s been but about where she’s going. It’s a tense, suspenseful story that has everyone on the edge of their seat, Esther included. It’s a story of self sacrifice to the benefit of others. A story of biblical proportions, not due to awe-inspiring divine miracles but as a result of awe-inspiring human perseverance.
Mordecai has put the two options on the table. One story will leave her feeling empty and the other with a sense of meaning and fulfillment. In order for her to determine which is which, Esther must decide who she is.
Imagination and Escape
What is real and what is imagined? Which of the stories that you tell yourself help you discover, and which stories are an escape?
We don’t need to wander far in order to escape. Our most convenient escape is in the places that are most familiar to us, in our fortresses, where we count on familiar defenses for security.
Mordecai warns against escaping in the king’s house. The palace might provide physical safety and predictability, but it can also be a prison for the mind and for a life full of meaning. If we always find ourselves in our comfort zone, then there’s a good chance that we’re not living out our purpose to the fullest.
Mordecai’s language reveals the deeper truth: escaping our circumstances means escaping ourselves. After all, escape is imaginary. Instead of “Do not imagine to yourself…”, a more accurate translation of the original Hebrew would be “Do not imagine in your soul”. Imagining an escape is imagining that we are not our true selves.
That is not to say that we cannot change our circumstances or make a powerful impact. Quite the opposite. It means that we can do so much more than what we can even begin to imagine. And the formula for accomplishing the unimaginable is to be true to who we are.
Is this question enough? Is it enough for us to know who we are and to courageously decide to be seen that way? Or are there additional questions that need to be answered?
This time, Mordecai doesn’t wait for a response. He continues with another two questions so that The Esther Challenge comes into full view.
Question 2: Will you tell your story?
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and rescue will arise for the Jews from elsewhere, and you and your father’s household will perish; (Book of Esther, 4:14)
A Deafening Silence
For The Esther Challenge to come into focus, it needs to call some of our natural tendencies into question. One of the classic approaches to resolving uncomfortable situations is to lay low, disengage and allow the storm to pass. If we’re not challenged, either by ourselves or by others, to rise to an occasion, then silent indecision would seem to be a low risk solution.
Mordecai’s choice of words is insightful. Translations of Scripture are often incomplete, and this is no exception. The original Hebrew of “For if you remain silent”, “Ki im haharesh taharishi”, repeats the root word for “silence” twice. There are two types of silence. There’s the silence of not speaking out, and then there’s the deafening silence of not being able to hear your calling. Mordecai is warning against both.
Silence is a proactive decision. Holding back your voice, or sidestepping your calling, is a form of action. To allow a window of opportunity to close is to assume responsibility for closing it yourself.
We Need You to Tell Your Story
Mordecai is a man of deep faith. He is fully confident that his people will be rescued from Haman’s evil genocidal decree. More than pleading with Esther to take action to the benefit of the Jewish people, he is driven to ensure that Esther realizes her own life purpose.
Knowing that life will continue beyond you, that the world will continue to spin on its axis if you weren’t here, is both liberating and humbling. It’s true – you can take comfort in knowing that the weight of the world does not rest on your shoulders alone. But if life will continue in your absence, then why are you here in the first place?
The answer is that we need you. Everyone else, wherever we may be, needs you. In a world with so many needs and so much that’s broken, there are things that only you can fix. You are a special part of this world, and there are countless encounters and opportunities that are waiting only for you. You have a story to tell, and you’re the only one who can tell your story.
We need you to do what only you can do. There are people you can help, pain that you can alleviate and achievements that you can make even more successful with your own, special set of gifts and contributions. No act is too small, no effort is wasted. We don’t need you so that things can get done. We need you so that they will be done by you.
What’s true for you, the reader, was true for Queen Esther. Mordecai’s words were harsh: “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and rescue will arise for the Jews from elsewhere, and you and your father’s household will perish”. If deafening silence is one side of the coin, then the intentional execution of active storytelling – of living out your story – is the other side. You count, we care for you, and we need your story to be told by you.
Remaining silent means silencing yourself, silencing the legacy of those who came before you, and silencing the legacy that you can leave for everyone who will follow you. What would the world be like without the legacy of Queen Esther? Who would we be without our parents and grandparents? Who will our children and grandchildren be if we don’t show up and deliver?
The first two Esther Challenge questions set the stage for the third.
Have you decided who you are?
If so, are you ready to take action?
If you know who you are, and you’re prepared to live out your story, then you’ll need to determine when the time is right to step forward.
Question 3: Why Now?
…and who knows whether for a time such as this you have reached the kingdom? (Book of Esther, 4:14)
For Such a Time as This
In some ways, the question of timing is the most baffling. Even when you’re well grounded in your identity and committed to taking action, how can you possibly know if the timing is right? As we will discover with Esther’s gradual and calculated approach to asking the king for his help, timing requires a great deal of thought, and it can never be predicted. Mordecai’s question of “who knows whether for a time such as this” suggests that maybe now is the right time, while leaving room for the possibility that maybe it’s not.
This open ended question warrants more than a yes or no answer. The question of timing invites us to view this point in time as the bridge between who we have been and who we will be.
Today presents a unique set of challenges. And tomorrow will present us with more. The only human being who can truly answer the question of “who knows” is the person who accepts The Esther Challenge. It’s the person who cares enough about others to ask themselves how to make their highest and best contribution to the rest of the world.
Only you can know whether now is your time. As Mordecai indicates in his question, you are the one “who knows”. But how?
The Role of Royalty
What are your talents? What are your treasures? And how can you best align your resources with what the world needs?
The world is in flux. Change is a constant. The only way to get the timing right is to make sure that your purpose is in line with the needs at hand. Put differently, when your personal challenge, to know who you are and to be who you are, is in sync with the challenges that surround you, then you know that now is the time to take action.
Mordecai’s question is precise: “who knows whether for a time such as this you have reached the kingdom?” He couples the timing of current events with Esther’s role of royalty. Had there been a decree against the Jews before she was queen, then there would clearly be no reason to approach her with The Esther Challenge. Similarly, before the decree was issued, Mordecai instructed Esther to hide her Jewish identity. It’s only when the needs of the community can be served by Esther’s role as queen that the answer to the question of timing becomes abundantly clear. Esther can change the course of events in a way that is exclusive and unique to who she is at a certain point in time.
We know of Esther and her story today because of her heroism. That heroism begins before she actually puts her life on the line. It begins with the first stages of The Esther Challenge, when she answers Mordecai’s piercing questions with unambiguous clarity. Esther knows who she is. Esther is prepared to tell her story. And Esther takes action swiftly, because now is her time.
Avi Zimmerman is the bestselling author of Kosher Giving: 4 Steps to Creating Your Meaningful, Mindful and Measurable Philanthropy Plan.